This is a blog for education, but I am going to take a personal privilege.
A friend of mine passed away recently and I felt compelled to write about my unexpected friendship with Ralph Hughes. I have worked for more than one candidate who was on the losing side of Ralph. He had a reputation, one that I had heard about for most of my years in local politics. You didn’t want to be on the other side of Ralph. But because of political parties that is where I found myself for many years.
That changed when Ralph saw my primary debate and called to tell me he was impressed with me and wanted to meet to discuss supporting my candidacy. Preconceived notions made me hesitant to meet with him. But at the insistence of my husband and advisors I agreed to talk to him.
During our meeting I told Ralph that whether he supported me or not he could always call and I would always listen. I told him that we would not always agree, but we could always try to change each others minds. We talked about and agreed on problems we felt existed in the school system. We talked and listened and made no promises to one another.
Ralph supported me and I won the office I sought. At first I saw Ralph as a supporter. But it didn’t take long to see him as a friend. He called to critique me, and ask how I felt about issues coming before the board. He stated his opinions and listened to mine and we debated when we didn’t agree. We had lunch and he introduced me to people he thought I could team with to make our community better. I took grief over accepting Ralph’s support. I even had people in my own party tell me to refuse his support. I have no regrets.
During one of our long debates he ended our conversation with “You know April, you have a point, I hadn’t thought of it that way”. I felt like I had just moved a mountain. But now know it wasn’t much of an accomplishment because he was a much more reasonable man than people gave him credit for.
We shared a mutual respect. I feel so very privileged to have been able to know Ralph the way I did and feel proud that I earned his friendship, a gift he didn’t give lightly.
He liked to say he was glad he was smart enough to know how dumb he really was, and always knew he could learn more. He taught me a lot. I feel a profound sense of loss, both personally and for the community. I never would have thought I would call Ralph Hughes a friend, and am honored to have been able to do so. I will miss him greatly.
No matter whether you agreed with Ralph or not I believe he was involved in politics because he truly believed he could make the world a better place.
3 comments:
I offer my condolences to your friend and his family. Life shows us many surprises. That you would find a friend in an unlikely political opponent is a prime example.
I have been surprised as well. In my case, I would have never thought my desire to be a teacher would one day lead to me potentially serving five years in a state penitentiary for felony child abuse. That is exactly where I found myself today (see http://es-kay.net/?p=379) due to my choice to take a summer position as an aide for special education students. I was making eight dollars per hour (one-third my normal salary) trying to prevent mentally handicapped students from hurting themselves or others.
For someone who never got in trouble in the twelve years of my public education, who didn't know what being suspended meant, I got the scare of a lifetime today. The ease with which I was accused and the conditions that led to it make me question my decision to be a teacher. My idealistic notions of teaching are being shattered and the pedestal I placed the teaching profession on is crumbling before my very eyes.
April, it's always hard to lose a friend. You bring those who survive him comfort in their time of grief by honoring his positive impact on your life.
Thank you again for all you do, and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm sorry but Hughes was awful, especially for Temple Terrace. If he was your friend, I doubt you knew the real guy.
RIP
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